I find myself coming to the end of another week. It is getting harder and harder being here. I try to go home often but I am not sure that helps. It was great being home last week and getting the chance to take my girls to the fair. We had a lot of fun. It was a great visit but the leaving is getting harder on the kids, Abby especially. She is pretty used to me being there. She cries herself to sleep the night before I leave every time. I guess I didn't realize how hard it would be for all of us.
At Chapel this week Dr. Ashford, the Dean of the College at Southeastern, spoke on Counting the Cost: Loving God above all else (Luke 14:25-33):
Luke 14:25-33 (New International Version)
The Cost of Being a Disciple
25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'
31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
It is funny how God works sometimes. I often joke I wish God would send me a text message and explain what it is he has planned. This week in chapel He did just that. You see when I decided to come to Southeastern, Luke 14:25-33 was the scripture God showed me which helped to solidify my decision. Here He was this week in chapel using the same verses in another way. This time He showed me that though we must first love everything else less (the connotation when using the word HATE), we must next count the cost. Some of us say we want to serve the Lord but it is usually on our terms. I think He is asking me how bad to I really want to follow him. At what point will it be too much for Him to ask of me? When will I cut and run back to the things of comfort, all those idols that blinded me to the truth and kept me from truly serving Him all those years ago?
Again today the challenges came. Last night I apparently left my car door unlocked (I never do that) and someone stole my GPS, my radar detector and my IPod. Tanya’s response when I texted her with the news echoed my feelings exactly, “Promise me it gets better”. I look at my dad and Abby still suffering from the effects of the wreck, I hear about Uncle Jack in the hospital and Mrs. Hampton’s illness. I see all the pain and suffering in this fallen world. It pains me and wears on me. Will it get better? The simple truth is it may not…until Jesus returns.
2 Cor 12:9 (New International Version)
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
I hope and pray He will give me the strength to serve him until I go home or He returns. I hope until such time comes that the price will never be more than I am willing to pay. I hope he continues to show me his power in these times of weakness. I hope he comes soon. Until then, His grace is sufficient.