His grace is sufficient...

I find myself coming to the end of another week. It is getting harder and harder being here. I try to go home often but I am not sure that helps. It was great being home last week and getting the chance to take my girls to the fair. We had a lot of fun. It was a great visit but the leaving is getting harder on the kids, Abby especially. She is pretty used to me being there. She cries herself to sleep the night before I leave every time. I guess I didn't realize how hard it would be for all of us.

At Chapel this week Dr. Ashford, the Dean of the College at Southeastern, spoke on Counting the Cost: Loving God above all else (Luke 14:25-33):

Luke 14:25-33 (New International Version)

The Cost of Being a Disciple

²⁵Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. ²⁷And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

²⁸"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? ²⁹For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, ³⁰saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

³¹"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³²If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

It is funny how God works sometimes. I often joke I wish God would send me a text message and explain what it is he has planned. This week in chapel He did just that. You see when I decided to come to Southeastern, Luke 14:25-33 was the scripture God showed me which helped to solidify my decision. Here He was this week in chapel using the same verses in another way. This time He showed me that though we must first love everything else less (the connotation when using the word HATE), we must next count the cost. Some of us say we want to serve the Lord but it is usually on our terms. I think He is asking me how bad to I really want to follow him. At what point will it be too much for Him to ask of me? When will I cut and run back to the things of comfort, all those idols that blinded me to the truth and kept me from truly serving Him all those years ago?

Again today the challenges came. Last night I apparently left my car door unlocked (I never do that) and someone stole my GPS, my radar detector and my IPod. Tanya’s response when I texted her with the news echoed my feelings exactly, “Promise me it gets better”. I look at my dad and Abby still suffering from the effects of the wreck, I hear about Uncle Jack in the hospital and Mrs. Hampton’s illness. I see all the pain and suffering in this fallen world. It pains me and wears on me. Will it get better? The simple truth is it may not…until Jesus returns.

2 Cor 12:9 (New International Version)

⁹But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I hope and pray He will give me the strength to serve him until I go home or He returns. I hope until such time comes that the price will never be more than I am willing to pay. I hope he continues to show me his power in these times of weakness. I hope he comes soon. Until then, His grace is sufficient.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart...

So my first week of seminary has come to an end. God had spared my family and I found myself once again failing to trust in Him.

Life seemed back on track now that I everyone was home safely. I had made it back in time for class. Things were going smoothly until....Hermeneutics. After three plus hours of class I was almost ready to pack my bags and catch a bus back to K-town. Those accusatory voices I have heard so many times came at me quick and loud. Who were you kidding, you are no student!? Don't you remember how bad a job you did in undergrad?! You can't do this! I really began to question if this is truly what He wants me to do. Rather than continue to dwell on it I took it to Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.


It wasn't until today in Chapel (you can listen here: http://www.sebts.edu/news-resources/chapel/default.aspx ) that I got the answer. Dr. Moseley brought a message that outlined what happens when God speaks. I won't cover much, as I hope you will listen to his message, but the two parts that hit me most were when God speaks, (1) trusting Him supplies the greatest provision and (2) following Him becomes life's greatest partnership. I am on Gods team! I was reminded that this is what He wants for me in this season of my life. At that moment I committed myself to doing whatever it took to stay here and finish what I have started so that He might get the glory and I might be useful. After leaving chapel we were all greeted by smiling Chick-Fil-A employees handing out free chicken biscuits which for me was confirmation that God loves me and will indeed provide. That or he just really likes those cows. Seriously though, much love and mad props to Chick-Fil-A and their people. You guys rock!

Despite the awesomeness of my biscuit I could barely contain my tears as I walked back to my car. What an awesome thing to be loved by the creator of the universe and to be able to take it all to Him. I got back to my apartment and dove into my Hermeneutics work.

Matthew 19:26 (New International Version)

²⁶Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I spent 3 hours typing out my notes so that I would have a intimate familiarity with them. I then hit the Hermenutics dictionary to study 24 pages of terms. With His help it all came together and stuck to the dusty corners of my 40 year old, poorly exercised mind. I took a few minutes to pray and sat down to take my quiz. It took only 5 minutes (of an allotted 20) to answer all the questions. It went so quick it scared me so I went back and read them all again. I hit save and then submit. The end result... a 96. I missed one question and like my youngest, I was mad I didn't make a 100. Perhaps it's best to let Jesus be perfect and take my 96 and run.

I learned so much this week. I learned men always do resort back to hot pockets and pizza when shopping for themselves. I learned I still hate laundry and will always try to find a way to avoid doing it (so far so good). I learned I depend on my wife much more than I thought. I learned my church really is family (for better or worse). I learned first-hand how much Bob Crumley loves my dad. I learned it really can all be over in an instant. Most of all I learned to trust in God and lay it all at His feet.

Romans 8:28-31 (New Living Translation)

²⁸ And we know that God causes everything to work together^a]">[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. ²⁹ For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. ³⁰ And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love

³¹ What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?

Everything that does not come from faith is sin. (Rom 14:23)

And so my step out in faith begins. I just put my mom, my dad, my girls and my wife in the car so they could head back to Knoxville and I could begin my journey here at Southeastern Seminary. I am now living on my own for the first time in 20 years.

It’s funny. When I got back to my apartment I was instantly reminded of January 1990. I had moved to Knoxville, TN to start my undergrad work at the University of Tennessee. I had just moved into my 800 square foot apartment and was putting my dad and girlfriend (now wife) into the car as they headed back to Columbia, SC. I remember standing on my balcony watching the interstate to get one last glimpse of her as she left town. Today some 20 years later, with no view of the interstate, it was three times as hard. This time I had my wife and two daughters leaving for “home”. It’s such a strange feeling. It is like life has come full circle.

I never dreamed that at the age of forty I would be starting school again. I think most that know me well are just as shocked. After all I said I would never go back to school. That being said the Lord in His sovereignty has a way of getting what He wants. Sometimes he knocks us off our horse and we get it quickly but other times he is more subtle. For me it took thirty-five of my forty years to get the message He was sending me. You could argue that He was subtle and broke me down one piece at a time before building me back up to the point that I could be useful to Him. You could also make an excellent argument that I was just thick headed doing the backstroke in my sea of sin. I personally think it is a combination of both and the end result is, after some 35 years chasing the “American dream”, living for myself and trying to wreck what it was he tried to do for me all those years ago, the proverbial jig is up. Whatever years He has left for me will be spent serving my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I know some don’t understand how I could leave the life I once had and the stuff that goes with it but it really is quite simple. The life I once had wasn’t the life He had for me. It was one that, through His common grace, I created for myself and was devoid of anything truly meaningful. I also know some don’t understand how I could leave my family. Though I struggled with that for a time the answer is quite simple as well. Jesus asked me to. I know what you are thinking at this point. Seriously, you think he would really ask you to leave your family? Yes I do and I believe I can support it with scripture should anyone be interested. Jesus said it in two simple words… FOLLOW ME. We are all called and for each of us the call may look different. Some are called to simply serve in their local church while others called to the mission field in foreign lands. Some are even called to lay down their lives. For me I have been called to seminary to be better equipped to serve Him wherever he may lead me next. Does it involve sacrifice? Of course but didn’t Jesus make the ultimate sacrifice for me? Does it mean I had to leave my family for a time? Yes but can’t He take far more care of them than I ever could? Nothing really worth doing is ever easy.

I used to say that I wish I had been at this place in life when I was twenty because I would have had more years to be useful to the Lord. I now know that He needed break me down to the point that the only option was complete faith in Him. Until then I could never be useful. Well I am finally there. I am an average student, who played golf and basketball rather than study in college, who is now set to begin grad school. I am a business owner who wonders if things will stay stable long enough for me to complete seminary. I am a father and husband, apart from his family, waiting for a house to sell so they can be reunited. Am I anxious?

Phil 4:6-7

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I am not anxious, I am excited! I am a child of the almighty God, creator of the universe! I am putting complete and total faith in my Lord, Jesus Christ! I am trusting that He will work it all out in His time. After all, His timing is perfect…………. This was supposed to be posted yesterday August 16th but as soon as I finished writing I got phone call from my wife telling me she, my two daughters, my mom and my dad had been in an accident. They were side swiped by another driver, hit and went over guard rail, rolled four times down 40 yard embankment and came to rest against a tree. They had to cut everyone but my wife out. My dad and 6 year old daughter were admitted. My daughter had a concussion and a gash on her head and arm that both required stitches. My dad has 6 broken ribs and lots of pain. Everyone else was just bruised and battered. The EMT crews and State Troopers told us they have never seen a wreck this bad where no one died. Not only is His timing perfect, his grace is sufficient and his power made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9).